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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because it's dead."

"""Wow, it smells like *sniff* wait what the?"" *Rips blind fold off and sees house burning down* ""Omg!"" Narrator: The power of Febreeze"

"What's the deference between and porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has its pricks on the outside"

"What is a statistician's favorite social media site? Histogram"

"Movies are so unrealistic. This guy's using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe."

"My mouth smells like a cave someone shoved a bunch of dead animals into, because that's what it is."

"What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals? A good Friday"

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!"

"Maybe she's born with it... maybe it was a sex change."

"ah excellent, an update to this software i use. think i'll select remind me in 4 hours twice a day for the next seven months"