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Joke of the Day

"My future wife is... probably texting her boyfriend right now, saying how they are going to be together forever. SIKE! See you in 10 years bitch!"

"Guys I need your opinion on this joke! David Cameron"

"do you know how many Viet Nam vets it takes to change a light bulb? NO...YOU DON'T KNOW...YOU WEREN'T THERE"

"""Excuse me, waiter? Can I get a doggy bag"" ""Sorry ma'am, we only have Doge bags."" Much leftovers So pasta Very taking home Wow reheat at 350"

"Your mama's mouth is like a smoke house. Everyone is always hanging their meat in it."

"What kind of stories does Eli Whitney tell on Easter? Cottontales"

"My girlfriend's not up for being fisted tonight. I guess I'll just put my feet up."

"Did you hear about the unnecessarily large string orchestra? It was shut down due to mass violins"

"Doctor doctor nobody understands me. What do you mean by that?"

"Back in the day... ...cars were made in Flint and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico..."