34196

Joke of the Day

"I've got good news and bad news... GOOD NEWS: Hillary lost the presidency BAD NEWS: Trump won the presidency"

"I became a proud father today He just turned four, but he was a boring little shit the first few years."

"How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they prefer the dark."

"What's a pirate's favorite Antivirus? Avast."

"What is flat, at the center of the universe, and warming?"

"Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up? They call their tailor Herr Dresser"

"2010 Kids Wont Get This... Standing in line"

"*job interview* ""Where do you see yourself in five years?"" ""Mirrors, puddles of water. Basically anything with a reflective surface."""

"I personally don't believe in bros before hoes or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance. A homie-hoe-stasis."

"Everything's gonna be ok ma'am, I've got a degree from an online college."