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Joke of the Day

"Why should you never tell jokes about Hitler? Because your friends might Nazi (not see) the humor."

"Don't ask me if I have a safety pin if you're going to look at me all weird when I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to you."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it."

"Whats the difference between a zit and a priest? (My 17 year old camper just said this, made me cringe) A zit waits till you're a teenager to come on your face."

"How many Hillary Clinton fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Hillary Clinton fans prefer to stay in the dark."

"Someone fell asleep next to me on the bus so I'm drawing penises on their forehead. Let this be a warning to all sleepy toddlers out there."

"I guess I've cut back on my drinking... Time was, I'd buy a half gallon of bourbon and get drunk four times. Now I buy a half gallon and just get drunk twice."

"What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare"

"I'm not afraid of the Bermuda triangle or any triangle really. Even played at its most aggressive it's just not a threatening instrument."

"Knock Knock Walter White: knock knock. Skyler : knock knock who? Walter White: I am the one who knocks."