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Joke of the Day

"I used to trust my farts..... But then shit got real."

"Hey girl, are you a group of integrable functions? because I would love to find the area under those curves"

"Growing up, whenever I told my father, 'It's really nice out!'... He'd reply, 'Yeah, I had it out a minute ago, I thought it was great, too!' And so went my childhood..."

"How do Jewish pedophiles lure in victims? ""Would you like to buy a candy?"""

"Can a ninja kill you with a hidden bladed circle of metal? Shuriken"

"I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes' with a big smile. The look on her face quickly changed when I walked off with her cardboard box."

"Your mother ."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it."

"I have a feeling that Scalia was sad that he was going to be alone on Valentine's Day... ...and it broke his heart..."

"What did they priest say when he got censered? Holy smoke!"