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Joke of the Day

"The ex says he's come into some money and can finally ""take care"" of me. Wait...he's gonna have me killed isn't he?"

"I just shook my keyboard upside down. Breakfast is served."

"A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand And says, ""make me one with everything"""

"Q: Why is the banana the most popular fruit? A: Because of its appeal."

"What's known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn't use its full name, which happens to be ""Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division""."

"If Hitler was alive today and had his own hotel, he would charge for wifi."

"You know what's a cool job?: Mirror inspector I could really see my self doing it."

"Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes."

"How has Gordon Ramsey come to have so many children?? FUCKING RAAAWWWW!!"

"Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks."