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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I see a bear on a motorbike I'm like, ""Good for you. You've not let the fact you can't be tattooed stop you from getting a bike."""

"No thanks officer. I don't even give strange men my phone number, and you're asking for my license and registration."

"Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?"

"I just ordered the wrong meat it was a misteak"

"What did the watermelon say to the honeydew when he proposed to her ""Well we cantaloupe. My mother will never forgive us"""

"Do you want to hear a joke about suicide? So there was this girl."

"Boss: ""We are all going to have a bunch of Red Bull, bust out the chest of Adderall, be laser focused for about 4 hours, then die."""

"Netflix should double as a dating site and be like ""here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."""

"Take a pistol 1. Take a pistol 2. Point it to your head 3. Pull the trigger WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND"

"What's Gordon Ramsey's second favorite movie? FROZE-- oh, nevermind."