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Joke of the Day

"Why did the paper follow the pencil? Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! ~Skip"

"In grammar school, most unplanned pregnancies happen early on ...before anyone knows how to use the colon."

"Helped a homeless guy move today... I picked up his vomit and threw it across the street."

"Real geniuses never talk about that they are a genius. I know from myself."

"Today, a man looked me right in the face & said ""You're not hot!"" Actually it was a cop &he said ""Here's your ticket. Have a nice evening."""

"Mike Pence has a strong resume, including Governor of Indiana and Shawshank Prison Guard. #VPDebate"

"Blowjobs did not live up to my expectations. They suck."

"A goose walks into a cafe. He says, ""I want a burger, fries, and coke. Put it on my bill."""

"What do you call a redhead who identifies as the opposite sex? Transginger."

"I can not fathom how some people are exactly 6 feet tall."