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Joke of the Day

"Friend: What time is it? Me: (pulls out phone, checks Twitter and Facebook notifications, puts phone away) Friend: Well? Me: Well what?"

"Spell electricity with three letters. NRG (energy)."

"Why shouldn't you talk to someone with a brain tumor?.... ..because they've got a lot on their mind."

"What do mice do when they're at home ? Mousework !"

"What's the hardest thing that every snowboarder has to do in his life? Tell his mom and dad that he's gay."

"What do you call a ghost in spring? April ghouls"

"As a white, male acoustic-guitar owner, it appears I'm legally obligated to post a video of myself playing on YouTube."

"Why did the groom want his bride to wear white? He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge."

"How do witches lose weight? They join weight witches."

"Ace of Base and the Lords of Acid meet in a bar and neutralize each other"