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Joke of the Day
"How did Jesus like his chicken? Crucifried"
Next Joke
"A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells ""Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!"" Someone else yells ""Call 911!"" The blonde yells back ""What's the number?"""
"I went to the gym and asked the guy there to teach me how to do the splits..... He said 'how flexible are you?' I said 'I can't do Thursdays.' Credit: Tommy Cooper"
"Can I ask you a self-referential question?"
"So a woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day... Apparently ""in HD"" was not an acceptable answer."
"My 3-year-old dumped pudding in her pocket. Novice dad reaction: ""You ruined your pants."" Veteran dad: ""Thank God. I thought it was poop."""
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? The ""p"" is silent."
"I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding."
"My grandma once told me... that she is a virgin"
"My dad was a good man, he raised five boys.... Without the rest of us knowing"