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Joke of the Day

"I have very bad addiction to wrapping gifts. Every time I open a present, I end up rewrapsing."

"we have ways of making you talk mr bond [introduces dave] this is dave, he's a vegan ""OK ENOUGH"""

"Interviewer: What drives you? Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? M: missing the bus"

"How long does it take King Zora to move out of your way? A week, a week, a week, a week, a week, a week."

"What's the best thing about a poet in a prison? Oh you know, it has its prose and cons. Badum Tish. Be gentle, first time here."

"I met a farmer today Hes not well known, but hes out standing in his field."

"the other day, I got into a car accident. A midget got out of the other car and said ""I'm not happy!"" I said ""Well, than which one are you?"""

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the boy? Hey Kid, go easy on the candy! Probably been here before, I just thought it was hilarious for some reason."

"I bought a keg and bagels today. That's what kegel is, right?"

"Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but they won't have sex with you either."