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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than finding a sack of spider eggs in your room? Finding a sack of hatched spider eggs in your room"

"Did you hear about the man who had his entire left side removed? You could say he is all right now"

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Fucked-up Joke Frog. ""Fucked-up Joke Frog"" who? To get to the other side."

"At my last physical, my doctor told me I had to stop masturbating, and I asked why. He said, ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical."""

"What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid? A toothbrush."

"I just tore a dumpling in half It was wonton destruction"

"Why did the toilet make a joke about the balls? It was low hanging fruit."

"EMOTICON GUIDE :) I'm happy ;) Having a seizure. Still happy :/ Having a stroke. Not happy :( I'm a grouper .) Lost an eye. Still happy"

"I don't have a drinking problem, if anything I'm too damn good at it."