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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than finding a sack of spider eggs in your room? Finding a sack of hatched spider eggs in your room"

"""It's okay, little buddy. Mommy cries when her bottle is empty, too."""

"I made my girlfriend cry the other day. I called her son a bloody disappointment. Apparently she's very sensitive about her miscarriage."

"My dad got fired recently for sleeping on the job. He didn't like being a pilot that much anyway."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them"

"I just can't trust stairs anymore Try seem like they're down for anything, but really they're always up to something"

"Life is like a box of condoms. If you don't use one, you never know what you're goin get."

"What do you call a Mexican Miget? A paragraph Cause he's to small to be an esse"

"""The hits just keep on coming."" - A radio Dj/abusive parent."

"What do Palestinian children dream of becoming when they grow up? Old"