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Joke of the Day

"Describe your latest laid with a movie title! ""The Lone Ranger"" ""Home Alone"" ""Bend It Like Beckham"" Now it's your turn!"

"All Lives Matter ...until you multiply them by the speed of light squared. Then all lives energy."

"A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, ""No, I'm traveling light."""

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there."

"A scientist and a philosopher..."

"What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats."

"The Scarecrow didn't have the brains, Tin Man didn't have the heart, and the Lion didn't have the courage. So Dorothy remained a virgin."

"Lawyer: did your boyfriend commit the crime? Girlfriend: honey he can't even commit to this relationship Entire jury: OH SNAP"

"I know why all those Galaxy Note Sevens keep catching fire! My mix tape comes pre-installed on them."

"Octopus have 3 hearts, what has 13 hearts and no organs? A deck of playing cards."