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Joke of the Day

"Everybody's talking about the super obnoxious drunk guy at the bar last night. I was at that same bar and I didn't even notice him. Weird."

"God does exist If you're North Korean"

"[2nd time at girls house] ""where's your dog?"" Oh he isn't mine. I was dog sitting [makes text alert sound w mouth] ""Its work. I gotta go"""

"Have you heard any good jokes about Indian food? I haven't, because there's naan.^Ba ^da^Tsssss"

"When impersonating a coworker, I like to add a little extra dumb to their voice."

"Noel, Noel. Noel, Noel. Born is the king of isrea."

"whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? pizzas dont scream when they get put in the oven."

"I asked a homeless woman if I could take her home. She shyly said yes.... so I took her cardboard box and left."

"Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend? When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job."

"One. How many time travelers does it take to ruin a joke?"