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Joke of the Day
"Pizza slices are like fucks. I give none."
Next Joke
"Label every torrent you upload with your e-mail address and other contact information so peers can thank you"
"Siri is the only girl that answers my questions without having to ask why.."
"""i'll be back"" --arnold schwarzenegger getting into a 2-man horse costume"
"Q: Why did the pacifist /b/tard try to calm everyone down? **A:** He did it for the *lullz*"
"How did you get those horrible burns? *flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire."
"Thanks for explaining the word ""many"" to me... It means a lot."
"Romantic Remembrance by Valentine Card"
"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance Saturday, Sunday"
"*swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* Wife: STOP TOUCHING MY FOREHEAD!"