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Joke of the Day

"What is a Polish person's favorite weapon? A Warsaw..."

"What do you call it when a Jedi doesn't heat something up fully? Luke warm"

"You know what's really great about being a narcissist? Me."

"Hey Dad, your neighbor called, they wanna know if you could turn down your TV, they've already heard this episode of Law & Order."

"Two women are sitting quietly..."

"In Heaven, the angels asked God where he would spend his next vacation. Definitely not earth, God said. Last time I went there, I got a girl pregnant and they still haven't stopped taking about it."

"If a girl has sex with many guys, she's called a slut, but if a guy does the same... ... he's called gay."

"Son have I told you about the birds & the bees? Dad you're an ornithologist & moms an entomologist it's literally all you guys talk about"

"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha."

"I have a dog to make sure that the noises in the middle of the night are nothing serious and I have a cat to make those noises."