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Joke of the Day
"Why did the suicidal chicken cross the road? To get to the... *other* side."
Next Joke
"Why was there no food left at the Halloween party? Because everyone was a goblin"
"*doesn't look up from phone* I do"
"All I want is for someone to pretend to love me for who I am, then gradually change me over a period of several years until we both hate me."
"TIL it's impossible to stick your tongue out and look up at the same time Without looking like a twat"
"I want to do for the unibrow what Hitler did for the little moustache."
"What do you call a spelling mistake on a map? A topographical error."
"How do you make an egg laugh? Tell it a yolk."
"Came up with a somewhat original dead child joke today. How is a ten year old different from a pizza? Pizza doesn't beg for you to finish it off when you only eat half of it."
"How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian!"