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Joke of the Day

"You know what's fucked up? A girl on top."

"Two women were sitting quietly..."

"What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital? The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home."

"What did the man say after he was hit by the car? Nothing. He was dead."

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks him, ""Where did you get that thing?"" Parrot says, ""Africa."""

"It's hard to tell jokes to shoreline oceanographers They always take things littorally."

"My ex-gf invited me to her wedding Told her I was busy, will be there next time"

"The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake- you can't learn anything from being perfect."

"'McDonalds is the biggest sponsor of the 2012 olympic games'. We've officially reached the point where satire doesn't need punchlines."

"I was quite an upbeat child, I used to think CCTV was a very, very positive Spanish television channel"