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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it's tearable!"

"*licks stamp* hmmm tastes weird *mails letter* hmmm mailbox had wings *drives home on flying monkey* hmmm that wasn't a stamp"

"Guys, I found a cure for my Alzheimer's!"

"It's not that I don't want kids, it's just that I don't want a minivan."

"COP:Do u know how fast u were going ME: The posted speed limit, 495 COP: Sir that's the route number, i don't even know how I caught up to u"

"How many Sore Losers does it take to change a Lightbulb? Won."

"""I've been in 3 emotionally abusive relationships"" Said Dave to his new friend. ""I'm so sorry!"" ""Huh. I had them thinking it was their fault as well"""

"""You haven't listened to a word I've said."" Strange way for my girlfriend to start a conversation."

"If you ever doubt the value of writers, just follow your favorite actor on Twitter."

"What do you get when you cross a mexican, a queer, and an eskimo? A snow-blower that doesn't work."