32895

Joke of the Day

"When asked why he swallowed so much jizz, Rod Stewart would only say: ""My heart can't tell me no"""

"In no particular order = In exact order, but I don't want to piss off the people I put at the end."

"Taxi drivers seem pretty sad these days... I guess you could say they're, *uber* depressed."

"My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night"

"I threw caution to the wind.caution is my little brother."

"Whats the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath tub. One has hope in her soul, while the other has soap in her hole."

"I'm going to hell in so many different religions."

"Wife: I told you to baby proof the house! Me: I did. That baby has no chance if it comes in here. The bear traps will make sure of that."

"What kind of seagull flies over a bay? A Bay-gull"

"My new neighbour is fat, obnoxious and loud... Now I know how Canada feels"