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Joke of the Day

"[my weiner falls off my body, into the toilet] ugh mercury must be in retrograde again"

"What's your best math/science pick up line?"

"Kid: Mommy, mommy! Can I lick the bowl? Mom: No, you have to flush it like everyone else."

"Did you hear the one about the dog with no limbs named joint? Every morning his owner would take him out for a drag"

"How do I apply this ointment ""liberally"" without compromising my conservative christian values?"

"STDs are like Pokemon. Gotta catch'm all!"

"What did the Buddhist say to the Hot-Dog vendor? Make me one with everything."

"Maybe she's born with zits, maybe it's methamphetamine"

"This is Major Tom to Ground Control. This protocol is bad. Why is it we are singing to each other? It's no wonder our funding has gone away."

"What's the internal temperature of a Tauntaun? Lukewarm."