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Joke of the Day
"What console does god use? Praystation"
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"If history repeats itself, I'm totally getting a dinosaur."
"England football manager Roy Hodgson has just announced that he's won the competition for ""Scotland's favourite Englishman."""
"My wife says I have a short attention spanish is a beautiful language isn't it?"
"Kim Jung Un loves to read books, what does that make him? A glorious reader."
"Having friends is like... Having friends is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel it's warmth!"
"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you saw me eating that cupcake with no hands and you want my autograph?"
"Take my daughter once, shame on you. Take her twice, shame on me. Take her 3 times, and you're ruining the franchise."
"Marriage counselling because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they're being an ass."
"Whenever I tell her that I want to put my Butterfinger into her MilkyWay, she Snickers."