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Joke of the Day

"*cats pull on masks* This is the ultimate heist. Let's get those jewels. *cats immediately set off alarm trying to attack the laser beams*"

"What is the cheapest kind of meat you can buy? Deer balls, they're under a buck."

"Old witch: Now I know you want a job with me. Do you tell lies? Young witch: No but I can pick it up."

"Why did the student fail his physics test? He didn't understand the gravity of the situation."

"Why are black men taller than white men? Because their knee grows."

"What did you do for Mothers Day yesterday? Mothers Day is this upcoming Sunday."

"If you tickle a billionaire, will he trickle himself?"

"Someone just used the phrase, 'that's a big load', on this conference call, and suddenly I'm paying attention."

"Step 1: Have Android phone - Step 2: Say ""Ok Google, what are people from Phoenix called?"" You're welcome"

"I had dream that I really had to take piss When I woke up I had peed myself. Thats when I relised... dreams really do come true"