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Joke of the Day

"""I feel like a failure, doc. I've got 5 boys and they ALL work as hotel valets"" ""Wow this is the worst case of parking sons I've ever seen!"""

"Who decides which weeds to kill in the garden? Weedicide."

"Him: It should be illegal for white people to wear dreads. Me: Are you Italian, my brother? Him: No. Me: Then no more pizza for you."

"Free tip for home invaders: literally everybody with an iPhone6 is out at brunch right now"

"I was going to read a book on the male reproductive system today... ...But, unfortunately, the bookstore informed that it never came."

"What do you call a bear that's questioning their sexuality? A bipolar bear."

"What do you call the stupidest fish in the sea? A dumb bass."

"My friend keeps saying ""cheer up dude it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"" I'm sure he means well..."

"What's the difference between a collection and an addiction? I don't have an alcohol collection."

"A man walked into a musical cheese store and was greeted with the words: ""Hello? Is it Brie you're looking for?"""