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Joke of the Day

"A reddit Moderator told me I have to flair my post.... So I replied, ""Well, that's only flair."""

"Are you British Explorer James Cook? Cuz I wanna turn yo land down under into a penal colony."

"When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? When there's a sail on it."

"My 11 yo noticed my receding hairline and thought it was hilarious. Until I explained how heredity works."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."

"Face down, ass up, that's the way babies often sleep. Adorable!"

"3 things in this world scare me: 1. scorpions 2. jellyfish 3. streets named after civil rights leaders at night."

"[kids fighting in the back seat] ME: I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PULL OVER AND START A PODCAST RIGHT NOW IF YOU 2 DON'T CUT IT OUT."

"[OC] Gurl, do you want a pinworm infection? Cuz id like to stick something 1/4 of an inch and thin inside of your anus."

"Your mom... ...is so fat she always follows her gut."