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Joke of the Day

"Me: Did you know a cockroach can live for weeks with no head? Him: That's nothing. Husbands sometimes go for years."

"So there's a flash flood warning in my area. I didn't know floods could be exhibitionist. *^I'm ^so ^sorry*"

"The Greatest Trick the Devil ever played... The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing Columbia House that he intended to purchase more CDs from them once he got his 8 CDs for a penny..."

"Why are radios cheaper in Scotland? Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried."

"What do you call when a blonde dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence"

"I've always wanted to meet a Syrian ... That's why I'm travelling to Germany next year."

"""Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite."" --Guy who doesn't understand how sleep works"

"The Earth was concerned about the moon. The Sun tried to reassure the Earth. ""The moon is just going through a phase"" said the Sun."

"Seriously, if I were a manager at Burger King, my answer to every complaint would be, ""You're at Burger King."""

"I wish Adele would hurry up and put out another album so I could end this relationship."