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Joke of the Day

"Drumpf's presidential campaign in reverse: an increasingly laughable story of an egomaniac running for an office he couldn't possibly win"

"Whilst reading through an ancient book at the British Library, I found a magic spell' that would supposedly make women want to have sex with me. Worked like a fucking charm."

"Failed my biology test today They asked, ""What is commonly found in cells?"" Apparently ""black people"" wasn't the correct answer."

"What does a leper say to a prostitute? Just leave it...ill be back tomorrow."

"What is Chuck Norris' only weakness? Cancer"

"Fact: it's impossible to look tough while getting a snack from a vending machine. You're all, ""Wheeee! A tiny bag of Cheetos!"""

"I'm more confused than a homeless person on house arrest."

"Welcome to night club. I know it's dark, but that's kinda the poi-- *metal screeching* Dammit Steve! I told you knight club is downstairs!"

"What's the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth? Albert Einstein's dick."

"My girlfriend was taking a survey online about ""Which holiday describes your sex life?"" She wasn't happy with me when I chimed in, ""Day of the Dead."""