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Joke of the Day

"I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows on too high she looked surprised."

"Why were the pirates on the ship fighting? They needed better anchor management."

"I heard the Pope's first choice for a guest was in fact Hillary... But he couldn't afford her speaking fees"

"The man who worte the Hokey Pokey died. They had a hard time placing him in the coffin. They put his left leg in, but as soon as they started trying to put the right leg in they had problems."

"TIL there's a subreddit dedicated to all the times an OP doesn't deliver Link in the comments"

"Hey, I lost my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?"

"I think some of you freaks have been spanked more as adults than you were as children."

"How many dads does it take to change a light bulb? Asking because it's been a week and mine still hasn't."

"What do you call a potted cactus that has grown in the shape of a penis? A dildon't"

"Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the ""11"" in ""9-1-1""."