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Joke of the Day

"Water-loo is such a shitty place. Just thinking about it would make me pissed, if I gave a crap."

"The cat puked under my bed. Cleanup efforts only made it worse. It's time to renew our commitment to developing alternative sources of cute."

"Based on the amount of tools I've dated, you'd think I got a deal at The Home Depot"

"After an attempted mugging, I started to carry a gun around with me Now my muggings are more successful."

"Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58000 cars out in the driveway."

"A woman walks into a butcher and asks for a pound of kidleys The butcher says ""do you mean kidneys?"" She answers ""that's what's I said diddly I"""

"What rating did Moody's give to the sheep? BAAA"

"How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible."

"Why don't big trains have little trains? They pull out on time."

"What shampoo did Paul Walker use? Head and shoulders, they were on the dashboard"