32318

Joke of the Day

"What did Putin say when the world got mad at him for invading the Ukraine? ""Cri-me-a river!"""

"What's the Italian version of Preparation-H? Innuend-O"

"Oh, you want to fight? Ok, one second *takes off glasses, removes retainer, unpins towel cape, empties snacks from pockets, sets down kitten"

"Doctor doctor should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No you should do it on a computer."

"Do not use the word ""ghetto"" indiscriminately unless referring to that booty there. Daaaaamn!"

"Whenever I shake someone's hand as I meet them and they say ""The pleasure's all mine."" I quickly look to see where their other hand is."

"Does almond milk come from crazy cows? Cause they gotta be nuts, right?"

"I'd have a longer attention span if things weren't so shiny"

"What do you call a dizzy Asian? Disoriented."

"'Rowdy' Ronda came to my town to give a speech. It was Rousing."