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Joke of the Day

"Ignorance is not bliss. It's just a fancy word for stupid."

"I was going to make a subreddit about middle children today, But then I realised everyone would just forget about it."

"I can't get hard unless I can hear a gluten intolerant person weeping over a menu."

"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?"

"One burrito looks at another burrito and says, ""you wanna fight?"" The second burrito says, ""nah"". The first burrito says, ""What are you, chicken?"""

"ME: WOW! Bigfoot! BIGFOOT: Hey Smallfoot M: U call us Smallfoot? BF: U have small feet M: no, urs r big BF: mine r normal M: huh BF: see ya"

"Is that your cat? No, she's adopted. Me and my boyfriend, we can't have cats."

"What do you call a fat psychic? a four chin teller."

"I used to drive a Ford Fiesta... Until I took some Adderal to study for my test. Now It's a ford focus"

"Where was the first chicken fried? In Greece."