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Joke of the Day

"American Public Schools."

"What woman say right before they kill you: Wow. Fine. Whatever. No problem. I'm not mad. Nothing's wrong. Sure, stay friends with your ex."

"I was having trouble with my phone... So I took it to the phone store, and let me tell you! The service was great in there!"

"So is Walmart a verb now? As in, ""I'm out of clean underwear, so I'm going to have to Walmart it today."""

"*cop frisking me* Cop: ""theres nothin in your pockets that will poke me, right?"" Uh, no Cop: ""OW!"" *baby porcupine jumps out* RUN POKEY, RUN"

"Chuck Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face."

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead."

"The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons."

"An impotent man... ... named his dick Magikarp. Because it's useless and can only splash."

"Why do push up bras not work for some girls? Because 0x0 is always 0."