32176

Joke of the Day

"Why is it so hard to help deaf people? Because they never listen."

"JELLYFISH: *to friend* Want to see something disgusting? Watch this. *stings person* FRIEND: That wasn't dis... JELLYFISH: Wait a minute."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens."

"There's a song about dancing like Uma Thurman, but not about dancing like Gaston. No one dances like Gaston!"

"I want to open up a toupee shop. So when someone questions themselves about buying one, I can say, ""toupee or not toupee? That is the question."""

"Every time I cook risotto I feel like Gordon Ramsey is going to walk in and scream at me."

"Italian names sound delicious. Even Mussolini, sounds like a fried cheese that ends up oppressing your digestive process. #Italians"

"Awkward If you think buying condoms is awkward, you should try returning them."

"Bloody Foreigner... ...coming over here, wanting to know what love is."

"I saw some beautiful women. Sometimes it makes me sad though and I almost don't want to start the chainsaw."