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Joke of the Day

"I told my friend I was gay, then he turned his back on me. That was his first mistake."

"Sometimes in the shower I pretend like I'm a bumblebee and just crash into the curtain a few times and die in the water."

"When I draw a fish I always.... ... Draw it to scale"

"I'm starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ..."

"I'm so out of it I just asked my dog to hand me something. To be fair, he gave me the same blank stare my kids would have."

"What did the Native American do after culinary school? He became a Souix chef."

"Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate."

"What's the difference between batman and Blackman? Batman can go to the store without robin Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)"

"My parents caught me masturbating. I wasn't ashamed, I was startled - I almost dropped their wedding picture."

"Great. Only a single slice of bread left in the bag. That means until I find another slice, everything that happens today is in the sandwich"