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Joke of the Day

"A Baptist, a Mormon, and a Muslim walk into a bar... The Baptist says, ""What the hell are we doing here?"""

"Somewhere in Brooklyn there's a baby named Helvetica being fussy about eating pureed kale and sleeping in his crib of repurposed bike parts."

"I was in Ethiopia and I thought I may as well have a threesome... ...you know - two birds, one stone."

"eating the classic new york dish we all know and love that's right the individually purchased sleeve of ritz crackers"

"What happened to the two gladiator olives? They were pitted against each other"

"*armadillo comes rolling back in the ball return* ""Wait.. if you're here, then..."" *cut to wife sobbing at bowling ball* ""UNCURL, FREDRICK!"""

"Schrodinger's Omlette Up until you flip the omelette, you don't know if it's an omelette or scrambled eggs. If it flips, omelette it is If it doesn't, scrambled it is"

"A dog is ironing shirts and cursing under it's breath: ""What a fool I was! Bring me the slippers, my ass!""."

"Earth's scientists have discovered that sheep are smarter than most primates. This explains why not a lot of sheep tune in to Jersey Shore."

"what is the difference between aspirin and a strippers boyfriend? asprin works."