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Joke of the Day
"Hey guys with your phone in a hip holster, is it because your purse is too full with tampons?"
Next Joke
"What's the name of the virus that causes AIDS? ... Are you positive?"
"My girlfriend told me I was a pedophile I told her, ""that's an awfully big word for a six year old""."
"How many women does it take to make me a sandwich? What the fuck are you waiting for bitch? Get in there and make me a fucking sandwich!!!"
"[tries to eject CD 5 mins into space mission] Houston we have a problem I KNOW U CHEATED W/MY WIFE TOM ENJOY 12 YRS OF SMASH MOUTH U PRICK"
"What does a waffle call his complete existential paradigm shift? His eggo death"
"At the end of the day, it's 11:59pm."
"When I'm feeling inadequate, I remember that there are women who marry their prison pen pals, and then my own decisions don't seem so bad."
"*takes your compliment* *stares nervously at it*"
"I think I'm going to sell my Theremin.. Haven't touched it in ages."