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Joke of the Day

"In Soviet Russia, The LSD take you."

"Have you ever had sex whilst camping? ...It's fuckin' in*tents*!!!"

"*someone hands me a baby* Oh... no thank you *places baby on the ground*"

"One time I had a boss who called me while he was in the bathroom, and then he accidentally peed on himself, so sometimes good things happen."

"Why would the road cross the chicken? Because it had a death wish. It's well known that no one crosses the chicken and lives."

"Caught my ping smoking weed while playing online Now it became high"

"I used to drink all brands of beer. Now, I am older Budweiser!"

"ME: in closing, all of the facts I've presented today prove that Bush did 911 PRIEST: and now the bride will read the vows she has written"

"One of the anchors on CBS Sports just referred to smoking weed as ""toking salad"" and from that alone I'll bet my life savings he's a dad"

"Who were the Tallest Man in the World's roll models? Nobody, he had no one to look up to."