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Joke of the Day

"I was playing snooker with Jacqueline. I looked at her and said, ""Where's your cue?"" She said, ""It's after the C."""

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"Girl you are like a fine oriental rug... ...you'd look great on hardwood."
"What did Lewis and Clark only have one sack of on their expedition? Jawea"
"Sex. Don't get it? good, you never will."
"What do you call an insane nocturnal blood-sucking parasite? A lunartick."
"Last night instead of feeding my rabbit , I went out clubbing got really pissed and took drugs......I really let my hare down"
"NSFW Wife: Darling, do I please you in bed? Hubby: Yes I love that trick you do with your mouth. Wife: What trick? Hubby: The one where you shut the fuck up and go to sleep!"
"The worst part about the measles outbreak at Disneyland was still the price of admission."
"whats the diffrence between a tornado and a divorce in the south? nothing. sombodys losing a trailer!"
"""So here are the plans for the Eiffel tower..."" ""Hmm. Yes, yes - this is Gustave!"""