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Joke of the Day
"My wife is so weird She starts every conversation with ""were you even listening to me?"""
Next Joke
"Hey there's this new diet that can help lose pounds fast! Its called the Brexit"
"How do color blind people see porn? In fifty shades of gray"
"""Want to come watch the game Saturday at 8:00?"" Well I'm going rollerskating at 1:00, so yeah I should be out of the hospital by then."
"The south was reported to have more Ashley Madison users than any other region in the U.S. I guess family isn't always enough."
"WIFE: Please take the trash out ME: Ok *later that night* ME: I'm having a nice time TRASH: Wow, the food here is spicy AF"
"SON: How are monster trucks made? ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: [glares] ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane"
"Actions speak louder than Facebook posts..."
"Have you ever had sex while camping? It's fucking in tents."
"After sex a woman tells a man that she didn't like his performance, that his organ was to small. He looks at her and says ""I didn't know I would be playing in a cathedral""."