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Joke of the Day

"I'll never forget my grandad's last words on his deathbed. He said: ""I should never have bought this deathbed. Asking for trouble..."""

"""Eat the booty like groceries"" -Albert Einstein"

"Jeopardy] Alex: This floats your boat. Me [buzzing in]: What is buoyancy? Alex: I'm sorry. The answer we were looking for is, Whatever."

"What do you call a witch who drives really badly? A road hag."

"Who wants to join me in quest to warn teenagers about the harms of plucking your eyebrows too thin?"

"Dad, Why was Mahatma Gandhi bald ""Because he always spoke the truth"" ""Oh! That's why woman have long hair"""

"No matter who you vote tonight to become our next president.. there is going to be a blonde sitting in the Oval Office in about 3 months.."

"A recently fired stock trader said: ""This is worse than a divorce, I have lost everything and I still have my wife!"" "

"What's the similarity between smoking a cigarette and eating pussy? The taste changes the closer you get to the butt."

"How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? none, that's a hardware problem."