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Joke of the Day

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? My damn foot's stuck in door! Open up!"

"What's the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment. I'll see myself out."

"Whenever I leave a fancy restaurant I tell the people coming in ""I recommend the squirrel""."

"what's a pirate's favorite letter? You would think its 'RRRRRRRRRRR', but its actually P because without it they would go irate!"

"I think that's enough coffee. I can hear my cells dividing."

"Q: Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk? A: He wanted to work overtime."

"BIack friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library I said its 2014 man you can use what ever printer you want."

"When I figured out that people walk on hardwood and carpet, I was floored."

"The Bible Belt - the land where you pretend not to recognize each other in the liquor store."

"When I die I hope someone puts ""In Memory Of Jenny Johnson"" in old English lettering across the back windshield of their Buick Riviera."