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Joke of the Day

"Pretty cool to think every time the Verizon guy said ""Can you hear me now?"" the NSA was quietly answering ""Yes we can."""

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino \\()/ "

"Men might stare at your tits and ass, but women buy a latex mold of a pen*s and keep it in their drawer. Who's creepy now?"

"Here is a complete list on how to build a single stair. Step 1"

"*something awful happens* *checks if Mercury is in retrograde*"

"You have to be flexible to work here. On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles."

"[Target intercom] ""Would the parent of a 9 y/o named Jack please pick up your son at security. We've told u for weeks this isn't a daycare."""

"Fact of the Day: Lyrics can be used in a court of law as evidence. That's how Billy Joel was acquitted of arson charges."

"I've compiled my bucket list. 4 drumsticks, 4 thighs, original recipe, 2 individual mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits."