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Joke of the Day

"Her: I like the man-horsey in this film. He's hot. Me: Centaur. H: What? M: Centaur H: Is that his name? M: I want a divorce."

"I knew my girlfriend was cheating on me when she texted me saying ""I'm out for dinner with my friend Emma"" because Emma was lying beside me in bed"

"The man asks ""Are you working hard today?"" Worker: Oh I'm working about as much they pay me...a little bit every 2 weeks"

"You're not fat. You're just... easier to see!"

"What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)"

"Now that Harriet Tubman is on the $20... Is it only worth $12?"

"God...= I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"Jokes are like paper airplanes I suck at making them"

"I heard abortion was really a race issue. There is no gray area its all black and white."

"How do you know Little Miss Muffet was a bodybuilder? She was always eating her curds and whey."