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Joke of the Day
"What do you call your GPS if it has the voice of Terry Crews? Crews Control."
Next Joke
"SALMON: Who has been spreading gossip I thought I could trust you two TROUT: I don't know, who could it be?! BIG MOUTH BASS: Yeah, who??"
"What do you call someone who smokes two doobies at once? Double jointed. What do you call someone who can smoke three at once? Dead. Don't do drugs."
"Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace"
"*reads own tweet* Haha, so relatable"
"My physicist gf told me she loves me to the moon and back .... I don't know if she was referring to the Distance or Displacement."
"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctor described his condition as stable."
"What do pirates do on Saturdays? They go to Y'arrgggghhh sales."
"Saw a squirrel get hit by a car earlier.Felt kinda bad,but I don't think the squirrel gave a shit that the Smart Car was totaled."
"Did you hear about that new supervillain, The Weather Man? I hear he's taking the world by storm"