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Joke of the Day

"[doorbell] 4: *opens door Hi, is your mom home? 4: she's in the tower mom: whispers from behind door ""no no no it's SHOWER not tower!"""

"Namast'ay Away from negative people."

"I asked Rihanna where Chris Brown was She just shrugged her shoulders. ""Beats me!"""

"Why dont they have Drivers Education and Sex Education class on the same day in Iran Because it would kill the camel"

"Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread-ged the lake."

"Some guys think sweaters are sexy, but I don't like girls who sweat more than the usual amount."

"Scientists have identified the dog particle. It is a good particle. Such a good particle yes it is. Does it want a treatsy weatsy yes it doe"

"My sister has promised to sing at my funeral. I hope she goes before I do."

"Mumford and Sons next album is just going to be someone rubbing an antique burlap sack against a microphone for an hour."

"A terrorist posts on reddit. His post blows up. He meets 72 virgins. His day could not be better."