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Joke of the Day
"What did the bear do to be labeled a hipster? He hibernated in the summer."
Next Joke
"Why do lawyers have so much anal sex? Because they are fucking assholes."
"So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary's and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?"
"Fortune Cookie: You will go on a date with a beautiful woman. She could do so much better."
"Hush little baby, Don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a bunch of crap so he doesn't have to hear your incessant whining ya spoiled brat."
"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice."
"What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle!"
"What do a guy crossing Niagara falls on a tight rope and a guy getting a blowjob from a 90 year old have in common? Both are thinking don't look down, just don't look down."
"I love this time of the year... when the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air & the whole family gathers round a roaring Galaxy Note 7"
"Why did Snoop Dogg go to Germany? For Schnitzel."