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Joke of the Day

"FOX new has saved my legs! I got into a terridle car crash and and lost the use of my legs. When I was in the hospital, FOX news came on the TV. I got up to change the channel."

"I was all cozy up in Mississippi and then all hell broke loose because... Mr. Issippi came home early."

"What do you call an army of toddlers? Infant-ry. *insert cringe here*"

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up."

"A friend asked me what's my best American impression... ""I don't want to go to the doctor because it's too expensive."""

"What was Snoop Dogg's ghost arrested for? Possesion."

"[Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is 'babe' Bee: B-A-E J: Sorry. There's another 'B' Bee: WHAT! WHERE? *goes crazy* *stings Judge* *dies*"

"Meeting with the father who married me and my wife for dinner tonight. I hope it's Italian I am going to ask him to pass the body of christ."

"knock knock... who's there? Honeycomb Honeycomb who? Honeycomb your hair."

"Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar. One condom says to the other ""Hey man, wanna get shit-faced?"""