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Joke of the Day

"Why is leather armor best for sneaking? It's literally made of hide."

"It's so hot outside! I've been out here 10 minutes and I'm already wetter then Kim Kardashian at the BET Awards."

"Scientists have shown that putting the phrase ""Scientists have shown"" in front of anything will make people read it."

"I had two ribs removed so I could pet small dogs easier."

"Brexit EU now has 1 GB of free space!!"

"I read an article about the dangers of heavy drinking the other day, and it really scared me! So that's it... Starting today, no more reading."

"Lettuce is like that friend you only hang out with in a group with other friends. ""Hang out? Who else is coming?Ham? Great. I'll be there."""

"My wife is from England so I gave her a good Rogering for Valentine's Day. He just left and she seemed to enjoy it, so... score?"

"The best things in life are free. Stealing is awesome."

"What does every woman have in her panties? A career."