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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a magic owel? Hoo-Dini!"

"What's the difference between your mother and a Mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck... I forget the rest but your mother's a whore"

"Learner driver: What happens when everything's coming your way? Instructor: You're in the wrong lane."

"Laugh at your problems, everybody else does."

"What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates : 1. Nice shirt 2. Wow, a second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts."

"It's so cold out today in Wisconsin I just saw a snowman kill another snowman and crawl inside his body cavity"

"I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don't want people to recognize me when I'm pooping."

"A guy walks in a library and asks for a book on how to commit suicide Librarian: Fuck you, you won't return it"

"Merry Christmas.. Or Happy Heineken, as the case may be ;)"

"For my birthday I'm going somewhere with no internet access. Pretty sure this will involve time travel and possibly dinosaurs."