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Joke of the Day

"I give myself an excuse for watching porn. By pretending I'm watching ""How it's made: Babies"" on youtube."

"Why don't people in their 80's have sex anymore? You ever try to open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"I went to that restaurant you said I had to try. It fucking sucked."

"Guy tip: If your girlfriend has a really annoying friend, don't tell her how bothersome she is or to stop being friends with her. Just casually mention how attractive she is."

"What did the astronomer say to the telescope in lingerie? ""Hubble, Hubble."""

"A mother was tucking her son in one night she really wanted a daughter"

"When life hands you alligators, make gator aid."

"Joanke Its an inside joke."

"This unicorn sitting next to me is saying that I took too many Vicodin."

"Doctor Doctor I keep dreaming of bats creepy-crawlies demons ghosts monsters vampires werewolves and yetis. Doctor: How interesting. Do you always dream in alphabetical order?"